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Do I nurture or master my children?
In my best efforts as a Mom, I have to admit I made some mistakes. I wanted to raise smart, courageous, generous and caring children. I remember times when my efforts went off the rails. My son was failing in elementary school. I was a teacher so I was angry at him, projecting my thoughts of parental failure onto him. It was a relief when I found out he was dyslexic at 9 years old. I was also disappointed in myself for how hard I had been on him.
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This experience created trauma for him. He never pursued higher education. He discovered a love for cooking and became a chef. The traumas of my childhood in some ways were acted out on my children.
No.
They weren’t neglected or left alone for days or sexually abused. But there were times I was resentful and angry. I avoided interacting with them when they needed nurturing. Parenting is hard. I had my first child at 16. I knew nothing about anything. I didn’t know how to love. I didn’t know how to take care of myself. I definitely didn’t know how to take care of someone else.
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The one thing I learned is how to love. I learned my child thought the world of me at my worst and my best. I learned how to be compassionate, nurturing, and loving. I saw the man he became and the love he showed his wife, his sons, his sister, and me. We had a great friendship. He taught me more than I could have ever learned on my own.
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I want to encourage my sisters.
Make the decision today to be different.
Grandmother apologized for the mistakes. Build a new foundation of love and trust.
Mothers, admit you don’t have all the answers, but together you can work it out.
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Create safe spaces for our children without bitterness and blame.
My children grew into incredible adults who are loving and genuine. We can create a world where the traumas we suffered are not poured into our future.